Monthly Archives

July 2014

The Arrogance of Assumption…

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Whether this story is in fact true or not, it still rings true for me as a reminder in terms of the vast mistakes we can make when we dare to make assumptions about another human being,

Whether this story is in fact true or not, it still rings true for me as a reminder in terms of the vast mistakes we can make when we dare to make assumptions about another human being, or another situation  — it also means we will potentially be making the same assumptions about ourselves in some way.

 

One night President Obama and his wife Michelle decided to do something out of routine and go for a casual dinner at a restaurant that wasn’t too luxurious.

When they were seated, the owner of the restaurant asked the president’s secret service if he could please speak to the First Lady in private. They obliged and Michelle had a conversation with the owner.

Following this conversation President Obama asked Michelle, “Why was he so interested in talking to you?”

She replied that in her teenage years, he had been madly in love with her.

President Obama then said, “So if you had married him, you would now be the owner of this lovely restaurant?”

To which Michelle responded, “No Dear, if I had married him, he would now be President!”

This story shows me the arrogance of us all, at some point. It has nothing to do with male versus female or quick wit in the moment. I wonder how many times a day I make a mis-judgement, some form of error or a minor false accusation (even without intending to be malicious or hurtful in any way).
Often we are just not “emotionally aware” enough to see what is really the story behind the story that we see, feel and perceive — we simply and simplistically want the way we assume things to BE the truth for e.g. in the case of the president above. We want to be correct and proven right — thus our inability to see the truth because of what it might enforce us to believe about ourselves, can lead to potentially grave errors. Errors that keep us stuck in a small point of view.
So when I read this, it made me stop and think about where do I tend to make arrogant assumptions, about YOU, me and the next person. How much kinder could our world be if we did in fact ask the right questions, rather than assume we know all the answers.
I am most guilty of this when it comes to intimate relationships – I tend bring so much of my stuff like past pain, past, jealousy and all the other ugly shadow aspects I don’t ever want to admit.  And here comes the self judgement — that because of the work that I do and the message I spread in the world, that I “should” have it all better together. But blow me down, I can get into that dangerously assumptive space like a teenager reduced to ridiculousness. Then in other areas I feel like I’m flying high at tertiary level, passing cum lade. Such is the lesson of life that we have to grow through. But there they are — my assumptions that I continue to work on, be friend, cajole them out of the wood work, break pieces of real wood to help me break through the barrier. And yes, I see relief and shifts, but I know there can always be more too. So I constantly work on the angle of where am I making assumptions that will make me play out the old scenarios linked to past baggage rather than help me to step up into a new form of relationship. Maybe your glitch is also relationships, or perhaps it shows itself in career, finances, health, family?
I am interested in the letting go of the assumptions that keep me small so I can be more fully present with YOU, in this moment. Leaving my own old lenses with which I can view the world beside me, and be willing to step across the threshold of vulnerability….
So my challenge to myself and to you, dear reader, is to go about your day and your week questioning your motives, your intentions and your assumptions. When you find that someone makes an incorrect assumption about you, why not see if you can let them down gently and put the “record” straight so to speak.  Help open their eyes and hearts. See if you can do your level best to stop perpetuating assumptions about what can and can’t be done. What you can and can’t be achieved, where money does and doesn’t come from. To attempt to be more expansive, open, willing trusting and playful.
And of course, as always, I’d love to hear your views so please leave me a comment or interact with me on my facebook page here
you can also sign up on my website for a course to help you SHIFT 1 THING – www.kate-emmerson.com

“Falling apart” or “falling together”?

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At some point in our lives we all tend to use the expression “my life is falling apart” – when everything seems to be going haywire, losing its grip and shattering before our eyes.

What we forget is that it is always, well mostly, for our highest good. We don’t want to hear that when we are kicking and screaming against the changes, the flow that appears to be pushing against us, the struggle and the potential fear of NO MORE.

We are the ones that make the changes harder and harder to welcome. I came across this beautiful expression this week about rather than seeing it as “FALLING APART”, that we view it rather as “FALLING TOGETHER” – the bigger picture is usually about about falling together – IF we can get ourselves and our fragile egos out of the way. It reminds me of one of my favourite poems of all times called GOD IS LIKE THE WIND, that i will share below.

If we play small, hold tight and forget to go with the flow, life will feel like it is truly falling apart. If for one moment in time, we can remember the bigger picture that we are never meant to know in totality, it can make it seem as though our soul is truthfully assisting us to fall TOGETHER again.

Our journey here on earth is one of wholeness, inner healing and a return back into the full joyful expression of who we really are. BREATHE.

So next time you feel like you’re falling apart, remember your soul might be helping you to fall together in the most exquisite way.

Here is the beautiful poem I have loved for over 20 years

GOD IS LIKE THE WIND  – by Don Glassey

We cannot see the wind, but we can see the activity it creates;

Moving through the trees, rustling the leaves, blowing over grasses. Likewise with God, for though God is invisible and unseen we can perceive the effect of God’s creative force in our lives.

In the miracle of birth, in a mother’s unconditional love, in the joyous laughter of a child.

Even when there seems to be no wind, if we are very still we can feel the wind’s presence

Similarly with God, for in those moments when we doubt god’s existence, if we are very quiet and calm we will feel God’s omnipresence.

 

When the wind blows very hard, if we are moving very fast, we may not be aware of its strength.

Likewise with God, if we are very restless and busy we may not sense God’s presence even though it is omnipotent.

If we disregard the re-balancing force of a strong wind, it may blow more powerfully in the form of a hurricane or tornado to fulfill its purpose.

Like wise with God, if we ignore God’s omniscience in re-balancing our lives, God’s will may be more forceful to bring us back to purpose

It is always our option to heed the forces of nature and hear the message in a gentle wind, or we can wait for a gale wind to get our attention. Similarly with God, we can listen to God’s whisper, or we can wait for God’s shout.

It is always our choice.

So, what are YOU choosing to think, feel, experience and reflect today, RIGHT NOW? Let me know below …. or on https://www.facebook.com/kate.emmerson.page

Blessings, Kate

Get IGNITED this winter!!!

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Happy winter – let’s use the introspective time to make a difference in your life!….

 

This newsletter has the following: a  short video, an inspirational workplace article, my new talk and a hint of something to come…

1. VIDEO (1.5 min) to share my winter retreat you can do from anywhere SO – If you wanted to join us on Mauritius and couldn’t make it, this is FOR YOU. IGNITE YOUR LIFE from your own home
VIDEO -watch here
READ MORE on my website  HERE

2. Need more energy and oomph? 

Article about VITALITY in the WORKPLACE – a passion close to my heart to stay engaged and energised this winter –check it out here

3.  Inspire your staff  and teams with me as your guest speaker: 

 My new talk DITCH YOUR GLITCH is on offer . Click here 

SURPRISE RETREAT

This is my fun, magical and exciting adventure for you that I’ll tell you about next time!

A retreat  held in NOVEMBER  to close out your year strong and create your vision for 2014

Plenty of time to book for this once in a lifetime opportunity….

The Power of Commitment and Long Term View….

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I have always been one of those LAZY face and face care people, by which I mean no matter how excited….

I have always been one of those LAZY face and face care people – by which I mean no matter how excited I can get about the IDEA of cleanse, tone and moisturise, I tend to do it in fits and starts of sporadic energy. Having started early when the good ol’ teens set in and I was interested in keeping pimples at bay (ok, I lied i really mean ACNE at bay – my god I remember my university exams in the middle of searing heat in Durban with 35 degree heat and my skin was soooooo bad I had to wear thick base to even get myself into the exam, I was so embarrassed- sheer stress erupting through my pores….but no matter what happens I think I take a double dose of  “rehipnol”, because no sooner than a bottle of gunk has been completed, it’s like I forget to buy the replacement bottle, using every single assortment of goo I can find rather than going and buying the next one. Then I get fed up again, find a new product, or see a great special offer with ooooooh ooooh such a pretty goody bag! bla bla bla

 

Don’t even talk to me about taking my make up off at night, EVERY NIGHT. Seriously, who does that?  The quintessential clubber in my youth, I’d rather collapse on the bed with the blasting music dof, dof, doffing in my ears (you KNOW what I mean after 8 hours of crazy loud music hey?) – and I guess I just set myself up with bad, sporadic and “doomed to die with bad skin” habits.

 

So eleven years ago when I started my coaching business, I KNEW I really OUGHT to start taking my appearance, clothes, face, make up i.e. general street appeal to a new level. I have never done it all at once (aka a makeover like our latest retreat we are offering Mauritius – don’t worry ladies we are offering it again next year) – and will sometimes pay attention to hair, then nails, then clothes etc. But when I started doing well-paid talks for my work, well, I then had to bump it up another notch, to step it up again and be more in the limelight.

 

So whilst I know it’s always a journey….but my real grown up journey with taking my skin seriously started last year ….

 

 

Not one for trying Botox (but definitely pleaded with by some friends to join them) I am also not a HUGE fan of my scowl mark (who said I was happy every moment of the day) and my forehead wrinkles (aka the lines from baby oil and a silver roof to tan on during matric) let alone the fissures starting on either side of my mouth. I like to believe I have an ANIMATED face that shows feeling and emotion and my wild laugh, but truth is, my lines, dehydration and wrinkles bother me. My gran had, and mum has, amazing skin, due mostly to less sun exposure, but I’d like to do the Emmerson female lineage proud….and Holy mackerel don’t even start me on the adult mid 40’s acne. WHAT is that??

 

So last year – I was the guest speaker at a talk and Dermalogica were there doing a fabulous activation and mind mapping – I literally pounced on this girl, who admittedly all of 20 nothing, but oh boy, her skin literally glowed and looked like she was airbrushed in front of me. ALL MORNING! I wanted me a piece of that glow factor…

 

One of my lessons has been to learn to expand my worth and my value and to realize that I am a GREAAT spokesperson and brand ambassador if I LOVE you and your product. So I literally asked (well perhaps I begged!!!!) to see how I could be one of their brand ambassadors – hoping like mad they would see value in me and how I could spread the Dermalogica love……

 

It is about commitment …. To a product, to using it, to speaking about it and putting my own energy on the line saying I believe in it and Looooove it.

 

Yes I agree it is an absolute treat /spoil/ gift etc. to be delivered a bag full of delicious goodies from such an amazing product house – beautifully packaged, clean white lines just up my minimalist alley, and the promise of changing my skin rather that just a token product to pat on the outside. I remember it was also a big fat reward last year – On the 1st August I was hand delivered my basic routine – and after spending an entire month flat on my back in July with a slipped disc, it really did give me huge pleasure to open up that bag – I was also about to start travelling to do all my Women’s month talks around SA, and after a month of 5 sets of hectic drugs, I rely felt like my skin was in dire need of some TLC. I was quite literally grey (no no, my hair is silver, but my skin was pallid and grey!) I feel like my skin was rescued and it just lapped up everything I layered carefully on it.

 

I saw a massive jump in the look, feel and general appearance of my skin within two weeks – I even felt like I was starting to love it better in a weird way, paying attention every day TWICE a day and being fastidious about my exfoliation and masks….then another shift at the 1 month mark and then again at 3 months. I then kicked up a gear as my back got stronger and started working and travelling hard again, and got under huge amounts of stress, as we do…… About 6 weeks into using the product I also started breaking out and getting my delightful acne back – yuck – I bellowed to see if there was something the range had to help me, and whooopppeee, medicated gel and medicated concealer. My NBFF -new best friend forever. Every time I thought I loved one product, a different one would become my favourite as I realized what I had at my fingertips.

 

Then I started getting slack again – arrrrrggghh the habits of a lifetime – after about 5 months I was in the UK for the winter, cold, wet, snow, darn central heating, hating water on my face at night etc. etc., and I started letting the usual routine “face product boredom” set in. I limped along for a few months being a bit haphazard – I just couldn’t be “assed” anymore – know the feeling I’m talking about? It’s like training at the gym and hitting the plateau and losing faith and momentum and slipping back ……. The humanness of humanness.

 

I needed to see another bump up in the quality of my skin…….

 

So back to the drawing board:  I yelled for help needing to replenish the drips and drabs of products limping to an end and more importantly I needed to re-boost my skin and get it winter friendly. I was travelling a lot and going to the island of Mauritius for retreats – so going from winter straight into sun a few times…… it wreaks havoc with my skin. I switched some products out, got new re-hydrating serums, and have finally understood the power of layering foundation with PRIMER on top. Oooooh – who knew? My skin feels like silky smoothie yumminess and I’m finally giving the young one a run for her money.

 

Then this past weekend I made yet another decision – and it came about through the power of being impressed by other women. I just made THE DECISION- no more messing around.  Time to dig deeper and commit more. After all it’s not like I’m committing to drinking worms and poking my eyes out every day – I am committing to DERMALOGICA AND ME!!!! That’s pretty cool.  I often watch adverts and wonder, really wonder if the people who are promoting the product really do use it – you know, does the highest paid celebrity actress really do HOME COLOUR? Me thinks not. Authenticity for me is paramount, and it is with awesome pleasure, that I know I am a great ambassador for this product!

 

On Saturday I had the pleasure of addressing 60 amazing women for one the expert salons, and I was amazed to witness the results of consistent and persistent skin care – I could 500% see who had been seriously taking care of their skin for a few decades. It quite literally oozed out of their skin, and the quality, tone and luminosity shone through. I want high caliber skin!

 

I realize that I am now on international stages speaking and inspiring, and if I choose to not have cosmetic surgery, then best I do the VERY best I can to look after the skin I have got. Seeing those older women has given me a new found respect for the fact that it is never too late to start, and I’m darn well gonna embrace that.

 

Whilst I feel like I’m a novice at their twice cleanse, twice daily skin TLC programme, I do have that feeling of commitment. I have now been using Dermalogica for 11 months, and I’m in, hook line and sinker.

BUT – I still have to give my little party rebel an outing every so often, and on those nights I’m honest about the fact that I’m really not going to wash my mug with oodles of water – I whip out my travel pre-cleanse WIPES – OOOH LOVE THEM, and I can slap on one moisturizer and feel good about getting into bed, so long as the music still blares in my ears.  Some habits can stay – party on!  Tomorrow I can go full tilt again with my proper TLC routine but at least I don’t have to start the morning by de-scaling 5 layers of old make-up off before feeding my cat.

 

 

So, are YOU committed to YOUR product of choice and does it truly add luminosity and glow to the rest of YOUR LIFE?

Love and blessings,

Kate

PS: Please note – this is a totally unsolicited article and just my thoughts when I went for a walk this morning around my beautiful leafy green suburb of Greenside, and was contemplating my weekend and my life.