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August 2014

Are you letting yourself down?

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As you know I always use my own life as inspiration for my musings to you, so as stuff comes up for me, I ask you the same thing…
Do you ever feel as though you are letting yourself down? You say you’ll do something and then just let it slip off the radar?

As you know I always use my own life as inspiration for my musings to you, so as stuff comes up for me, I ask you the same thing…
Do you ever feel as though you are letting yourself down? You say you’ll do something and then just let it slip off the radar? For e.g

 

1. Wash Mitsy the poodle but land up leaving her scruffy all weekend

2. Promise to call someone – you say…oh Kate we MUST catch up for coffee

3. Commit to start a new programme and then let it fizzle out in two days

4. Promise to write that important article/ letter but keep putting it last

5. Know you have several appointments outstanding but never get around to the dentist or medical check

6. Decided your will needs changing but just dont make the call to alter it

7. Decide to cut out wine in the week…until Monday evening

8. Say X ….then you somehow let yourself off the hook and just say it doesn’t matter and do Y.

Whilist we are all be busy in the crazy world of ours, this concept boils down to your PERSONAL integrity and whether or not you take yourself seriously, and have self respect. If you feel that others often let you down, break commitments and generally mess you around, start looking at yourself and if this is the kind of thing you do to YOURSELF?

The solution:

If you say you are going to do something, then do it. It’s a mental choice. What would it take for you to become someone that YOU admire and respect?

If you dont do it, then how can anyone else?

If you would you like to become one of those people that when you say you are going to do something, that you do it, Ask yourself one question- Have I made commitments to myself /others that I am not honouring and how does this make me honestly feel?

Make a list of where you are out of personal integrity with yourself (and others if appropriate) and face the list. Pick one area that is weighing heavy on your heart and resolve to do it today.

What I know for sure:

As you start trusting yourself to honour your own word, it will undoubtedly boost your self esteem and your energy levels by knowing that your word means everything. The kick you will get out of being true to what you say will make you walk with a bounce. Do not let other things take priority and get in the way.

Resolve to be true to your word- just like my beautiful Tiger below called Stripey – he sure knows how to be TRUE to himself!

Have a delightful day, as always, love

Do you exhibit stickability?

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Whether this story is in fact true or not, it still rings true for me as a reminder in terms of the vast mistakes we can make when we dare to make assumptions about another human being,

Whether this story is in fact true or not, it still rings true for me as a reminder in terms of the vast mistakes we can make when we dare to make assumptions about another human being, or another situation  — it also means we will potentially be making the same assumptions about ourselves in some way.

 

One night President Obama and his wife Michelle decided to do something out of routine and go for a casual dinner at a restaurant that wasn’t too luxurious.

When they were seated, the owner of the restaurant asked the president’s secret service if he could please speak to the First Lady in private. They obliged and Michelle had a conversation with the owner.

Following this conversation President Obama asked Michelle, “Why was he so interested in talking to you?”

She replied that in her teenage years, he had been madly in love with her.

President Obama then said, “So if you had married him, you would now be the owner of this lovely restaurant?”

To which Michelle responded, “No Dear, if I had married him, he would now be President!”

This story shows me the arrogance of us all, at some point. It has nothing to do with male versus female or quick wit in the moment. I wonder how many times a day I make a mis-judgement, some form of error or a minor false accusation (even without intending to be malicious or hurtful in any way).
Often we are just not “emotionally aware” enough to see what is really the story behind the story that we see, feel and perceive — we simply and simplistically want the way we assume things to BE the truth for e.g. in the case of the president above. We want to be correct and proven right — thus our inability to see the truth because of what it might enforce us to believe about ourselves, can lead to potentially grave errors. Errors that keep us stuck in a small point of view.
So when I read this, it made me stop and think about where do I tend to make arrogant assumptions, about YOU, me and the next person. How much kinder could our world be if we did in fact ask the right questions, rather than assume we know all the answers.
I am most guilty of this when it comes to intimate relationships – I tend bring so much of my stuff like past pain, past, jealousy and all the other ugly shadow aspects I don’t ever want to admit.  And here comes the self judgement — that because of the work that I do and the message I spread in the world, that I “should” have it all better together. But blow me down, I can get into that dangerously assumptive space like a teenager reduced to ridiculousness. Then in other areas I feel like I’m flying high at tertiary level, passing cum lade. Such is the lesson of life that we have to grow through. But there they are — my assumptions that I continue to work on, be friend, cajole them out of the wood work, break pieces of real wood to help me break through the barrier. And yes, I see relief and shifts, but I know there can always be more too. So I constantly work on the angle of where am I making assumptions that will make me play out the old scenarios linked to past baggage rather than help me to step up into a new form of relationship. Maybe your glitch is also relationships, or perhaps it shows itself in career, finances, health, family?
I am interested in the letting go of the assumptions that keep me small so I can be more fully present with YOU, in this moment. Leaving my own old lenses with which I can view the world beside me, and be willing to step across the threshold of vulnerability….
So my challenge to myself and to you, dear reader, is to go about your day and your week questioning your motives, your intentions and your assumptions. When you find that someone makes an incorrect assumption about you, why not see if you can let them down gently and put the “record” straight so to speak.  Help open their eyes and hearts. See if you can do your level best to stop perpetuating assumptions about what can and can’t be done. What you can and can’t be achieved, where money does and doesn’t come from. To attempt to be more expansive, open, willing trusting and playful.
And of course, as always, I’d love to hear your views so please leave me a comment or interact with me on my facebook page here
you can also sign up on my website for a course to help you SHIFT 1 THING – www.kate-emmerson.com