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October 2018

THE SEDUCTIVE MASK OF POTENTIAL POSSIBILITY

By | Coaching Tips 'n Tools, Insights to help you #quickshift | No Comments

It hit me like a ton of cement bricks yesterday as I sighed out the following words and whispered – “I’ve been letting go of  THE MASK OF POTENTIAL POSSIBILITY!” BAM! The words were out, the notion explained and then the feeling 100% shifted into relief. Full blown relief and knowing that it was right. As if every single cell in my body got it too!

Let me take you back a bit – You may already know that I love spending time in Greece, on the island of Lesbos where we host annual writing retreats. I try and entice as many friends and writers as possible to come and experience the slow-paced joys and the exquisite light of one authentic Greek village on this beautiful Greek island – for me the less commercial, the better.

I came for this 6-week visit to follow a big dream and launch a new business deal– by collaborating with a USA based realtor on my third book, SHIFT YOUR HOME – to reach out to more people, using more American based techniques, tools, funnels, networks and ideas. This has been a dream of mine for the past 4 -5 years since I first visited the US of A! We both needed to commit to being in the same place at the same time to get on with the doing of the dreaming! A year was enough already since we had started formulating the ideas and made over 60 videos for content! So Greece it was. Some question marks had come up for me over this past year about the direction I was heading,  but then I would suppress and ignore them, especially as SO much work and time, money and energy had already been invested– thinking mostly it was my success saboteur monster rearing it’s multi-headed self again. Just follow the big dream Kate – it would snarl back at me. Much like one of couple getting cold feet before a wedding yet going through with it anyway, when the voice inside isn’t only nagging, it’s yelling …get OUT NOW! Luckily for me, I have tools in my personal toolkit, my arsenal of self-development techniques, as well as my trusted partner, amazing friends and some professionals to call on when the going gets really tough. You know those people you need for backup when you want some processing, some healing, some insight, a way to sift through some of the big sticky stuff that we all go through. And that’s precisely why many of you come to me for sessions.

So first, I did what I had been inkling to do – I called HALT on the entire project. NO more, no can do, I’m DONE! Then, on the day of making that decision internally, but before sharing it with the recipient i.e. business partner, I called up my ‘go-to-healer’ person and said, “I need some help. FAST. I need some insight, I need some perspective, I need some healing around this challenge, and I need it fast. HELP”…anyone out there? But his autoresponder said he was away on a pilgrimage. So I had to trust ME 100%. Even better right?

A full week later, on the flip side of the decision made, (which happened to be yesterday), we were finally having the requested session and something came spontaneously tumbling out of my mouth. As it spilled out into the air around my lips, both he and I said, wow …..wow…..what a great concept. Not in an egotistical way, more in a ‘recognition of something big’ way.  I immediately felt the enormity of it, burst out laughing and said, ‘Yep, I’ll have to do a blog post about that.’ I also said, ‘oh, perhaps it’s even a book title.’So what came out of my mouth and more importantly my heart, was talking about THE MASK OF POTENTIAL POSSIBILITY! And so for me, this whole concept is that sometimes we have a big dream in our heart and soul. We have huge goals, some massive wishes, certain things that we really believe we want and we hope that we also deserve them. And then we kind of set ourselves up to work towards these with intention, hopefully, some wisdom, a dash of laughter and maybe some potential struggle along the way.

But what I was referring to was that there had been this potential possibility lurking in my life for probably the last 4-5 years. And this was about the potential of book number three, titled SHIFT YOUR HOME and what I believed it might be able to do in the world. The millions of lives it could change, how it eases the hearts of home sellers by sharing some techniques I have created and tested, with HUGE results. It felt like the one book that could possibly break the records, out-sell my other books and make a real difference. And so what’s happened is that I had created this huge big dream, idea, and picture and it grew and got bigger and bolder every year. But along the way, I’ve also been disappointed with its long-winded journey and had to cut the ties with my first USA publisher 18 months ago, and start the search all over again. Re-ignite the dream, fuel the passion, kick it back into shape. In the meanwhile I just gave the book a mini nudge out into the world, gathering more feedback and happy clients, but always playing it small in the hope of waiting for the BIG THING, the BIG DREAM to transpire. And so what happens is that this MASK slyly slips on and sticks to the face – because I started working towards this new goal, this big idea with such relentless tenacity – that I kept ignoring the mask of potential possibility. But it’s all a darn illusion! A Masked Ball where the cosmic joke was on me.

The concept and dream start teasing us. The mask pretends that it’s the right alliance, the right way forward, the blessed opportunity, without actually showing what’s underneath that – as we don’t really want to see it. What’s lying quietly dormant, literally and figuratively, waiting to attack, beneath the mask? The harsh reality of a rabbit hole to nowhere. So for me, this concept means the following – are you holding on so tight to something in your life because you believe it could be something profound, useful, earth-shatteringly grand? Well, are you?

You see here’s the problem – when we do just that, it takes so much energy to uphold that dream, to uphold that idea, to uphold the potential of that possibility, that we fall into the trap of forgetting how much it’s holding us back. If all our energy is going in one direction, by default, we close off other opportunities in the pursuit of this mask. Our ego is happy as it’s being kept nice and busy, thinking it has a big project, a grand alliance. When all it has is a mask.

So what happened was I woke up one morning last week, one month into this deeper dive of committing to the joint project in Greece and I literally just felt the words “I’m done,” well up, the moment I opened my eyes from a deep sleep – that’s often how things come to me when I’m at the end of the rope with whatever it is I’m working through and mulling over. Decision made, the option of that path culled. It’s never for me about pro’s and cons or needing to knowing what’s next. That’s what I teach right? LET GO, make space, truly and then the next step unfolds. So if I teach it, I have to live it, right? So I just felt the words in my heart and soul “I’m done” as I was lying face down in my bed. The immediate relief was incredible – the RIGHTNESS of the decision – the delusion of the mask now shattered to show what was sitting beneath it. Granted it’s taken me almost a week to fully process it, live into it and feel a new way forward – a large part of it was literally lifting off the mask and declaring, actually this is bullshit.

This is not what it appears to be. This is not what I want. This is not the brand building I desire for my future. It’s actually taking me on a path and a trajectory that is the antithesis of where I honestly want to go. It was so interesting for me just feeling into that and wondering if it’s ever true for you? I know that when things are happening to me, it’s usually very relevant for my clients and you, my readers as well. So where might you be holding so flipping tightly onto something, but actually it’s THE MASK OF POTENTIAL POSSIBILITY that’s playing an ironic game of pretend? Where are you thinking, believing and hoping like hell that there is a possibility and there is potential when actually, your gut is telling you something 100% different?

Could you even dare to go there, and de-commit? Without even knowing what you might be re-committing going forward?

So that’s what’s been going on for me with this international project – the pretense of a big, bold, brand alliance – when actually I now realize I am deeply happy that this book reaches who it is meant to reach, at the time in life when they most need it. When you are selling YOUR home, you may remember there is something that can speed up and ease the dreaded process. The work is simple yet profound, and I trust it has a magic that takes it where it needs to go!

My gut has been trying to get my attention – but I needed to make space, time and commitment to this deeper layer in Greece to be able to finally see the real mask. I realized I had heard myself feeling things like …
“I don’t think so”
“What about XYZ?”
“I’m not so sure anymore”
“This doesn’t feel right for me.”
“I’m not sure we are a good fit going forward”
“I have to motivate all these ideas- I am not INSPIRED by them”

And yet the mask was so colorful, deceptive, delicious and internationally enticing that of course the mask always won the tousle of the moment. But as I lay face down, feeling the essence of “I’M DONE”,  every cell of my body simultaneously yelled “THANK GOD – What took you so blooming long Kate? Can we now just get on with it, darn it, and do what needs to be done?” I was able to peel the mask off, even if it means potentially losing face with some people –in all honesty,  I only need to be true to and honor myself. I am allowed to make new commitments.

Is there something that YOU need to make a new decision on, regardless of knowing what the next step would be if you just dared to take off the mask of potential possibility now – the next step WILL reveal itself. But when all the energy locked up in the mask, it will delude you for life.

I would so love to hear from you – drop me a comment below this blog, hit reply and email me back and let me know what’s up in your life. How colorfully deceptive is your mask right now?

And do you need any support from me?

Recently I have found that many people are sick and tired of the crazy busy lives they have created when they actually yearn for a whole new career change or want to take two months off to come to Greece. If a little island in a sea of blue calls you to clear your head, find your true yearning and maybe where you want to write your book, then take a look here. We have 4 spots left for 2019 writing retreat.

With lightness for taking THE MASK OF POTENTIAL POSSIBILITY off,
Kate

P.S. Here is a sneak preview of my 2nd edition cover for book three, SHIFT YOUR HOME. And for the first time, I feel 100% aligned and in love with it, the cover, my message and the potential it holds to simply do what it can do, one home at a time. Time to re-love and take full ownership of my work and passion. The e-version will be released in the next two weeks, with the print one hot on its heels! Watch this space as the next step unfolds or PRE ORDER HERE IN SOUTH AFRICA!