The FIVE ‘G-SPOTS’ for cultivating a VIP relationship with yourself

By | Coaching Tips 'n Tools, Insights to help you #quickshift | No Comments

When life gets ridiculously busy, overwhelming, and fraught with responsibilities and you feel at the bottom of your priority list, perhaps it’s time to re-think some ground rules? As you chase your chosen goals (or your tail!) and step up to be the best version of yourself whilst sticking to your values – every now and then it can all get too much. It can be useful to resort to my 5 simple yet counter-intuitive strategies, called the cheeky G-Spots, to kick-start a VIP relationship with yourself.

 

  1. GO SMALL (CONTRARY TO THE GO BIG CONCEPT!)
    One of the biggest traps women still fall headlong into, is to make unrealistic demands on how they are going to change everything. Moreover, of course, change it all at once – GUN HO approach – sound familiar to you? Then you usually land up changing zero, nada, nothing and are left bereft of your goals thus feeling far worse off than when you started. However, everyone, including you, can START SMALL. Small tweaks for big leaps. Consider a realistic 5-10% improvement in one area of your life; when you have achieved that, you can start with the next aspect. One small chunk at a time. Step by step.

CHALLENGE: What ONE thing can you commit to shifting today and how will you shift it? Go small to end tall.

 

  1. GEAR DOWN – STOP WORRYING ABOUT OTHERS’ OPINIONS BY GIVING LESS OF A DAMN
    What other people think about you in NONE of your business. WHAT? How often is everything that you do, think, feel or act upon, based on how others will possibly approve or disapprove of you? Your life is meant to be one of joy and stretching for what makes you happy. No matter what! If you don’t know, find out. Every time you put another’s needs ahead of your own for the wrong reasons and drop yourself off your priority list, you are in effect making their needs way more important than your own. The plight of the compassionate female! How will you ever achieve happiness? You can continue to think it is the most generous thing (giving of yourself for the betterment of others), which it IS, provided it is not at the expense of yourself. Be more in control of what you need to do within your space, take charge of your challenges and stop “vomiting” your stuff into other people’s space. Be the best version of yourself so that you are more available to others.

CHALLENGE: For the next five days, the moment you wake up, your challenge is to do something for YOURSELF first. Perhaps a quiet cup of tea before you wake the rest of the house, ten minutes journaling, a walk, etc. You can come back to everyone else AFTER you have taken care of YOU.

 

  1. GRAND EXPANSION BY USING ‘AND’
    We have been continuously taught life is about either or, one or the other, this or that, yes or no. Really? The concept of grand expansion is grasping the concept of the word “AND.” It boils down to self-belief and the idea that you can have what you choose in the way that you want it. Most of us have been brought up to make choices, and choices have consequences. When you have the courageous conversations with yourself and others about what is important to you, then you may be able to find a way forward that incorporates BOTH, or several options, the commonly known WIN-WIN. I prefer to think of it as the GRAND AND! It is a mindset of how you view the world and what you expect you deserve. It also links to point 2 – it is possible to put yourself on your priority list AND thereby still be able to help others too! Ponder that for a moment.

CHALLENGE: Every time you hear yourself saying “OR,” reframe the sentence or request to use “AND.” Make a game of it to see how often you can rise to the challenge and enlist the help of someone you trust to nudge you when you fall into old habits.

 

  1. GUT-FEEL INSTEAD OF GUTTED
    I cannot emphasize this enough. Your instincts will always give you the right answer and will show you the orange warning lights way in advance. You can also rely on your nasty, mean and self-deprecating nagging voice to try its level best to sabotage you and turn you against yourself. It is always your little voice’s job to make sure you doubt yourself and yet, your spirit-self ultimately demands that you listen to your gut. It’s your lifeline from birth to death. Make a decision based on your initial gut response, find reasons to support it and MOVE ON! Think back to anything that “went wrong” in the last year and be honest if you always knew at the start but just never listened? So often we are merely scared to trust ourselves and will abdicate to others’ ideas and opinions rather than make any waves based on our gut feel.

CHALLENGE: A bit of a weird one to try. The moment you hear your nagging voice kick in, literally address it directly and say, “thank you for your input, but I’m going with my gut on this one for now, thank you.” Try it!

 

  1. GROUPY – LEARN TO HANG OUT WITH LIKE MINDED FOLK
    If you are brutally honest with yourself, which takes real guts, then you know whether you are disciplined and self-reliable in pursuing your goals or if you let yourself off the hook to easily. Even the most successful people that you know achieve massive results because they have grounded support systems and are accountable for the right reasons to the right people. Get a support group, a disciplined friend, join an online community course, be mentored and have a “go – to” person to help you stay on track Quit trying to do it on your own for once and then beating yourself up when you inevitably feel like a failure.

CHALLENGE: Contact that “someone / group” today to let them know what you are working on and ask for their specific help in achieving your goals over the next six months.

I cannot wait to witness the shifts you make so that you become the breeding ground for miracles again. Come and check out my website where you will find out retreats, mentorships and all things geared to help you LIVE LIGHT, LIVE LARGE. www.kate-emmerson.com

If you need to take quiet time out for yourself to REBOOT THIS SPRING, then check out my retreat being held an hour from JHB, in the luxurious Steynshoop Valley Lodge. We have just 4 places left.

Check it out here 

Processing Vs Stuck emotions – do you have the right tools?

By | Coaching Tips 'n Tools, Insights to help you #quickshift, Transformational Journeys | No Comments

Hello – this morning I made a quick video of my three favorite “GO TO” tools I use for processing emotions Vs. getting stuck this side of them, letting them trip me up and wreak havoc. I only ever coach clients on processes or tools that I personally use for myself as well! Ones that quite literally change my life!

We all have things we do when our back is against the wall – either by default or design. I know my less productive habits might be to drink too much coffee, get too busy, a few too many glasses of wine – but I also have essential healthy self-care practices and tools I use with clients. Tools that can quite literally perform miracles and astounding shifts.

What do YOU resort to when you need to address “issues,” challenging emotions and just generally make sense of all the  STUFF that is in your face begging for attention. In this video below, I share my 3 personal favorite tools. My tried and tested ones! Do you have healthy ways to get unstuck, process emotions and move through them?

Are you being called right now to face some sticky stuff in life? Do you need to dedicate some quiet time to get away from the hustle and bustle so that you can finally process your emotions through the medium of writing? Well, we are going on a retreat –  you may want to act fast and get on our WRITE YOUR STORY retreat, taking place in the beautiful area of Tulbach, on the most glorious farm. We are going to write, write, heal, rest, eat, play, walk, write, write and write. Definitely SOME wine along with healthy juices, foraging in the veggie garden and luxuriating for 5 nights in the most beautiful guesthouse!  Sarah and I will be sharing all things writing-related, and I will also be facilitating the other 2 techniques I talk about in this video on the retreat….designed to help you heal and shift your life.

These are just some of the reasons why YOU might want to write – whether for yourself or to be published. Writing is cathartic, healing and a powerful way to PROCESS EMOTIONS.

To find some meaning in your own life
You feel you have a compelling story to share
You are an authority in your field
You want credibility
To entertain people
To leave a legacy
You have no idea, just a calling
You are not sure you even want to write a book
You want to set the record straight
You enjoy a challenge
You find writing therapeutic
You just feel the need to tell your story
Discover what happened by looking back at your past
Re-witness the most critical times in your life
Work with or through guilt, fear, shame, anger
Preserve your family’s history
Improve your ability to communicate with others
Learn how to forgive yourself
Confess something
Record your life for your children
You have a cause
Write a speech for your own party
To ensure that your children and grandchildren know who you are
To inspire others to overcome a difficulty
To share a few tales your family love
To share an incredible life adventure
To shine a light on a problem or cause
To entertain readers with exciting/ dramatic/amusing episodes from your life
To teach a valuable lesson about your business, culture, religion, life
To capture a slice of history
To better understand yourself

PERHAPS IT IS TIME FOR YOU TO PROCESS YOUR LIFE THROUGH WRITING IN A SAFE, STRUCTURED  & HEALING SPACE

I wish you a day filled with understanding who you are and how you process YOUR emotions so that you can get on with living your amazing life.

With Lightness,
Kate

How dare I write?

By | Insights to help you #quickshift, Transformational Journeys, Transformational thoughts, Uncategorized | No Comments

How dare I write?

Simply, because I have to and I want to.

Not because any form of Journalism or English Lit featured as my university majors (good job that is not a requirement for writing or getting published) as they did NOT – try Industrial Psychology and Human Geography as my weird combo.

I write because I LOVE to write. Even when I feel I am dragging stuff out of me, I love to write. It gives me a sense of purpose and place.

Sometimes it feels as though it’s the very air I breathe – necessary to my survival. It has felt that way since I was 14 in my “dear diary” era. Writing then about the boys I saw on the bus who smiled at me, the kitty that purred for a cuddle, the revolting man m@sturbating in the car on my walking route to school, the top 40 playlists and what party is coming up this weekend… Oh to be 14 and in love again?

It’s a way of finally taking the thoughts that swirl relentlessly around my mind, demanding time and attention and that have the desire to seduce or destroy me and finally letting them settle through me. Gently settle. By giving them a small space in the world, space from which I can survey them at last – perhaps to shut them up, ignore or befriend them, sometimes even laugh at them – and then I am able to move on to the next step in life. It all makes sense again.

At other times it’s out of self-created guilt. If I have the gumption to utter the words “I AM A WRITER”, then best I lean into that. I know it’s essentially a verb in feeling. Well theoretically ‘writer’ is a noun of course, but for me daring to be a writer has to be a verb. Which means I am only a writer when I am writing. I cannot call myself a writer and be a thinker. Or a cogitator. Or a procrastinator hoping to write. That’s a lie, it’s deceitful. So I am a writer when I am writing. Simple. A writer because of my writing or even in spite of my writing. In my personal view of the world, I became an author when I was published. That can never be taken away from me. Author is more of a noun for me – but writer, mmm, that demands attention, discipline, love, care, time, BUMTIME as we call it on our writing mentorships. It requires the continuous clumsy clickety-clack of the keyboard or the scratch of my pen scrawling morning pages. A verb that means “get to it Kate” -otherwise I am not a writer.

And then, ah, then, there are “Morning Pages”- my true delight. A nudge from my soul for four decades that was given a name thanks to “The Artist’s Way”. Morning pages are a way to purge my insides on paper, a way to love life in letters and words, sentences and jumbled ideas, a way to process emotions I daren’t even utter out loud to the world or myself. A way to gently wake up in the sleepy space of possibility. A way to capture that fleeting moment between worlds when the thinking brain has not yet given in to caffeine, chores or stress. When the world is quieter and calmer. When my emotions dare to be more vulnerable and tumble onto the page. Most times NEVER to be read again. They simply have to come out…

And then I write because I love what it potentially facilitates – sometimes even a beacon of light to clients and readers around the world. Perhaps a flicker of hope as they read some of my personal stories, tap into my “expertise”, ideas or my writing style that is akin to “kick with compassion”. There is nothing quite so lovely or gratifying as someone out there letting me know my words and writing, books or blogs has truly changed their life.
Is busy changing their life.
Opening their eyes.
Helping their hearts.
Healing their souls.
That somehow they got the courage, gumption, skill, and know-how to DO something differently. Clear the clutter, live their values, leave that job, travel the world, ask for more, live with less, say no, say yes, speak their truth and shine their light. THEIR LIGHT! Be more of who they wish to be. What a real privilege that is!

And sometimes I write because I am mad. Or happy. Or pissed off at the world. Sometimes I even believe I can be a little poetic and romantic, a tad funny and mostly kickass. But I never write because I am a brilliant or even great writer. I would never claim that position. I write simply because I write.

I also write as a form of personal legacy. I leave a little bit of me, the real me, behind in this world. For women like me who chose to never bear children, words I pen in a book can live beyond me and that brings me joy and a sense of (false) longevity.

Recently I found myself writing less. Thinking more. Cogitating and ruminating my life and my choices more. Potentially dangerous. I can get too melancholy that way as it stays inside and doesn’t get processed through me and out the other side. Too passive. Too dark and dingy a hue of blue. Not enough light shining inside. So, a few months ago upon landing in Greece, I recommitted to the VERB of writing DAILY morning pages.
Not the “when I feel like it” kind.
The wake-up, get up, make my bed, brew coffee, start writing before the coffee has intravenously-filled-my-blood kind. the only kind.The ritual kind. The raw kind. The vomit insides out on the pages kind. The kind kind. There is a sense of rhythm in that when there is no other rhythm in this time of not knowing. It gives me an anchor.

 

And THAT is essentially why I write – to have a small anchor in the world.

So tell me, why do YOU write?

DREAM TO DRAFT MENTORSHIP:

If you would like some structure, skill, and discipline to finally write your book, then why not join our DREAM TO DRAFT mentorship. Done ONLINE from anywhere in the world we will take you by the hand and walk that path with you. Facilitated by Sarah Bullen and myself  (with input from many industry professionals)  – Sarah is an international writing coach, author and book agent, and myself,  international speaker, multi-published author and all round ass-kicker. Our simple aim is to get you to the first step – YOUR DRAFT DONE! Then you are on your way to being able to publish or self-publish your book.

Ask for more info here       or …….. click here to read more about the mentorship, reviews, costs etc. we start on the 1st August 2018! We have 5 places left. You will be asked to fill out an application form.

Confessions of a location free maverick – it’s over!

By | Insights to help you #quickshift, Transformational Journeys, Transformational thoughts | No Comments

Confessions of a location free maverick – it’s over! How the Pretend Cat and the Pet Rock are changing the landscape of my life. I find it deeply ironic and bizarre how I can go from travelling the world with ridiculously minimal belongings (even minimal for miss LIVE LIGHT, LIVE LARGE over here) and living mostly out of a suitcase for the past 2.5 years … to buying Tupperware, water containers, dishcloths, coffee plunger, bins and gasp of all gasps, kitty food – because I suddenly find myself with a “pretend” cat and a huge pet rock! Neither of which will fit in my suitcase, which can mean only one thing – a little home again.

Chances are you might have some insight into my motto, my life work and how I have been gallivanting around the world to speak, run writing retreats, masterminds and work with the YPO? And laze on beaches of course! Yet with this lifestyle comes the highest of global highs and the lowest of lonely lows.

Every decision we make has consequences on all sides. There is really no such thing as a decision that doesn’t have pro’s and con’s. That’s delusional. It’s just about choosing the ones that you most prefer, that bring you more joy and meaning, isn’t it? It’s not that any decision is better than any other one. And decisions are never usually forever are they? We get to choose and re-decide further down the line, whether about how we think or what we own, to what we do in the world and where we live.

I have been living with the consequence of choosing to have no home for the recent past. It’s a feeling of deliriousness combined with displacement. Sometimes it is truly a joyful experience, easy to broadcast on Instagram pics, carefully curated into an authentic feed, or a hopefully motivational post and pics of exotic food whilst lounging by the sea. New spaces, places and delights at every corner. Yet it’s not ALL wild, laugh-inducing adventures and Pollyanna playtime.

It’s also the polar opposite – sometimes a scary, wide open world knowing no one, needing to constantly be wondering where the next pit stop is, can I convert enough ZAR into USD to survive a northern currency, where will my work call me to (from Lagos, to Dubai to San Francisco), other people’s reactions to being “homeless” when I say I am #locationfree. Yes, but where is your home, Kate?

I have personally found that whilst my senses are constantly being awoken and titivated, it’s simultaneously a tad grueling on my body and takes me longer to adjust to new surroundings to feel totally integrated. I have stayed in the best of 5* hotels, to revolting homes I housesat (that really should have been a three week, massively paid declutter job). I do find it easy to feel at home in someone else’s space, but have become way more susceptible to the energy of the house and how it impacts me. So it has been in short, the past 2.5 years have been a profoundly intriguing, enlightening time.

Being a #locationfree maverick naturally takes some toll on my committed relationship with ENP and yet also provides us both with space to really miss each other. Even when I do make Lesvos, the world renowned Lesbian pilgrimage island, (where the 10th muse and lyrical poetess Sappho was born), my destination of choice. He doesnt batt an eyelid- and that tells you everything about him! Friends delight in my pics, tales and gifts, but also beg to know when I’m coming “home” – I remind them I don’t call SA ‘HOME’ anymore. You know how when you speak to people in the UK (yes Mum, that’s you!) and they bleat on about the weather? Well, pretty much every time I speak to a dear friend they cannot help themselves but ask, “so when are you in SA again”? I have done my best to implore them to not say when are you coming “home”. Or even when are you BACK. Those words imply it will suck me back into its clutches, and SA honestly is no longer home. It’s a beautiful and complex place that for many decades was my home, where I still work and see ENP and my friends. I have awesome clients there and … it is simply no longer my home! I am being called north again, and have been for the past 4 years, ever since I first traveled to the USA. So, I typically say I am simply where I am right now and thank God for the likes of Skype, Whatsapp and Zoom.

At the start of this process of packing up my home in JHB, I always knew I would be location free for a year at least; then after a year had flown by I had no desire for it to be any different; my travel trajectory was as delicious and busy for the year ahead, so I just kept at it. Living with 90% of my belongings with me, three boxes in storage and traveling to places MOSTLY in summer or the shoulder spring and autumn to obliterate the need for huge bulky clothes.

But towards the end of last year, even though I am in a beautiful, committed relationship to a man who just adores and trusts me to live my life with no betrayal to us, and vice versa, I found myself feeling somewhat lonely (whilst meeting new people everyday), restless (whilst constantly moving), bored (even though I see and experience more in day that some do in a year) and just a tad unsettled (yet this was my very own choosing wasn’t it?)

The irony of this insight is never lost on me.

Enter a pretend cat and bit pet rock!

It is not about needing to be in ONE PLACE forever; I am not that type. I have gypsy energy in my very DNA, and love traveling just so much. But after not having anywhere other than my heart and body to call “home” for 2.5 years, I was starting to inch towards the idea of a little space I could “claim” as my own. ENP is unraveling his life in SA too, and these global swallows need a new nest/s.

I remember the day I was housesitting the most GLORIOUS home right on the San Francisco bay, in Pointe Richmond and having this feeling of being so blessed by the beautiful home I find myself in whilst I travel, but I suddenly had this overwhelming longing to have a space for me. A space where I might be able to leave a costume and a pen, maybe even my art. A space I could imprint myself on. It was a little bit of a surprise. It also took the natural transition of my 50th Birthday in April this year to shift me into this next phase. I needed to close out some big commitments before I had the space for this phase.

So the logical heartwarming place for my first little space in the northern hemisphere was Greece. I am even toying with the idea of buying a home, but am rather just putting my feelers out this year. Getting to understand the lay of the land. What is it like to have another little base and how does that impact my life and me again? And others around me? And so, in the gorgeous, remote and truly authentic Greek village called Skala Eressos that I have been visiting for the past 3 years (with writers on our retreats), a space where I have built a community and with one of the most beautiful beaches in all of Greece, I found myself negotiating a contract for a light airy apartment for a year. A year!

 

Confession #1: It IS totally glorious to say I have a place I can call home EVEN though I will also “rent” it out to visitors, friends and colleagues. I have the coolest pet rock (see below) – my nan used to paint rocks so this is highly divine for me – but yikes, it’s a biggun, and will never fit into a case, so I guess I am destined to stay a while. See pic of beautiful rock complete with my name! It all came about when I asked my landlady if she had any door stoppers, a huge grin erupted on her face and she said she had a rock half painted, and she would complete it for me. All my favourite colours, the coolest of flamingos and my names emblazoned across it, lest I forget where I am.

 

Confession #2: Having a kitty on my bed again makes me deeply joyful. When my beautiful landlady said yes I could claim her little apartment as mine, she said I was an angel for her, but the truth is she is an angel for me. Letting me love her kitty, bringing me oregano bouquets, painting me my very own pet rock as a doorstop so I don’t wake the whole village when I sneak out to write my morning pages on the verandah, lending me a bike, fixing stuff I ask to be fixed and just being delightful – along with FANTASTIC English.

 

Confession #3: I am startlingly amused by just how insanely fast I wanted to buy “STUFF” Not a lot of stuff, for sure, but it is still amusing. And I want my Nan’s hand-made patchwork quilt here on my bed – NEXT TRIP! Unless you are coming to visit and will bring it with? And how Mum gifted me the most exquisite handmade, olive wood TAVLI – Backgammon set! Oh, the joys of a little place for STUFF!

 

Confession #4: I am plotting my return here – my coming BACK HOME. I have already started inviting friends here, seeing as I never pulled it off for my 50th  earlier this year– 51 seems just as fabulous a time to gather on an island! Perhaps I can also entice my Mum to visit a second time with the pretend promise to eat more meals at home to stretch the budget.

 

Confession #5: I fell off my bike and swore like a trooper – because my sundress was hitched around my thighs and I got stuck as I hurled myself towards the pavement. It was a “boy” bike with a big crossbar and so as my huge, white sun hat flew off my head when going down the hill, I panicked and tried to slam on breaks to run after my hat before it picked up pace across the fields, never to be seen again. I just couldn’t extrapolate my legs and dress in time and got caught up in a heap. Tears welled, words flowed and I cannot tell you the relief after I had embarrassing walked my bike home with a bleeding toe and bruised ego, grease filled legs and finally turned the corner and saw “My home”.

 

Confession #6: Kitty food is now on my shopping list again. And I have a pet brush. Everyone laughed at me when I said I wanted one, but I found it in the Euro shop, and this kitty just LOVES being fussed over! Every now and then it feels like a betrayal to my beloved Stripey, but Nikos is my “pretend cat”. He is not really mine; I know that – just that we get to love each other furiously when I am here. When I told Ms. S that I was letting Nikos, the #gingersnap cat sleep on my bed, she nearly fell off her own feet. You are crazy Kate Emmerson. And yes I am, but when I walked home last night after devouring the most delicious “orange pie” oozing with syrup and a creamy cappuccino to wash it down, my heart did a little skip when I saw Nikos waiting for me at the end of the road – a bit out of his usual comfort zone. My Greek is shocking, so I speak to him in English, (other than a strong reprimand of OCHE when he wants to get agro) and we ambled off down the road side-by–side, ready for a little cuddle.

 

Confession #7: Yes. I miss you, ENP. Every day! But you are in Russia at the world cup with all your Argentinian lads, doing what you love to do, and that makes me happy! Enough said we will entwine again in a few weeks when in the same country again.

 

Confession #8: I deeply love that my office of choice, Gialos on the platea,  has exceptionally kind owners, friendly kitties and the most heavenly view on the planet! Along with great coffee, conversation and a way to observe this little village and all its folk – from Drug dealer, to prostitute to writers, foreigners who return year after year after and the  locals getting ready for thier work day. A great place for writers to simply sit and observe…

With love from me, to you, from Skala Eressos and my new “home” –  for now x

(And yes, I will be IN South Africa for August and September for work :) )

 

Give them a mouthful so they are stuck with a mouth full of teeth

By | Coaching Tips 'n Tools, Insights to help you #quickshift, Transformational thoughts | No Comments

I feel compelled to share an experience that got me thinking about how well do we all really listen to each other. Whether in business or socially, it seems that the quality of your and my attention and intention can deeply impact the resultant experience that we have.

How do YOU listen to other people?
How do I listen to you?
How do you listen to YOURSELF?
Are you losing customers without even knowing it?

The scenario that happened:

  1. SMS from current life insurance company offering an interesting option of “X”
  2. I respond saying I am potentially interested in “X”
  3. Conversation quickly diverts to “Y”
  4. I respond – I am not interested in “Y” right now.
  5. Can we set up a meeting he says?
  6. Now, I am precious about my time and about wasting it or anyone else’s, so I respond – I am only prepared to meet if in fact “X” is truly possible within my portfolio – please do not try and up-sell me a policy as I am not in the market for “Y”.
  7. Get loads of run-around by said broker. Yes, bells went off and yet I did not listen to MYSELF. I was also genuinely interested in “X” as a scenario to explore.
  8. Agreed to meet – then he was late, and I was only spoken AT, not even TO about option…..you guessed it, “Y”. After tolerating this for nine looooong minutes, I exasperatedly asked – yes but what about option ‘X”, the very reason for us meeting?
  9. To which I got a fumbled -no no no you are not eligible for “X” Kate!

Mmmm lies, deceit and false advertising. One sure way to pi$s me off!

My comment to him – yes Mr, but that was the agreement and terms to us meeting i.e. that “X” was in fact plausible for me given my personal current context. You promised to look into that and having this meeting implied it was true. You have wasted both our time and lost me 100% as a potential customer.

The fact that I am not divulging him or his company is just being plain decent, as I was mad!

The solution:

I then gave him a very straightforward mouthful – I looked at the broker and told him flat:” You have totally disregarded my request, here is your “Y” option folder back and your business card. In reality “Y” could have interested me, had you genuinely bothered to take me seriously and LISTENED to my needs about “X”. You are merely using manipulation to make sales.

You totally lost me as a potential client.
I got up, paid for my coffee and left him sitting with a mouthful of teeth.
I also reminded myself of how I could have listened to my intuition better and wasted an hour of my life!

Learn to listen to yourself.
Learn to listen to your customers.
Learn to listen to what the universe is telling you via your higher self.

With love,

Kate

WHAT IS YOUR INNER YEARNING WHISPERING – or yelling?

By | Food for thought, Insights to help you #quickshift, Transformational Journeys | No Comments

Hello, Hola and Kalimera

If you have somehow found yourself reading this post then I have a challenge for you! Please, could you stop right now, and just breathe a little slower – yes, right now – and tap into your heart space, and quietly, slowly, mindfully do that for three breaths – right now. Before you read further….THREE LONG, SLOW, DEEP, HEARTFELT BREATHS!

Does that feel a little different now? A little more expansive perhaps – more possibility, extra length? So many things when we just STOP and listen huh?

Were you able to notice where there was tension sitting in your body, holding you hostage? Perhaps stopping you from inhaling full life force at this moment? If you are honest for a second, how many times a day do you find yourself riddled with some version of tension, anxiety or guilt? The kind that tickles your solar plexus and knots up your entire throat – maybe constricts your breathing or leaves you feeling huddled over and constricted in yoru creativity?

I personally find that, just like you, I have to constantly manage my energy, my attention, my stress and my emotions. I often feel a bit like a rollercoaster let loose on life, drinking in the wonderful highs and falling headlong into the lows that can bite hard. I just got off the phone with a friend / client who has been summoned to the deathbed of another dear friend- and again it hits me hard in the chest – tomorrow is not promised to any of us, is it? So are YOU listening to the yearnings in your heart?

I am currently here on one of my favourite islands in the Aegean, Lesvos, in my happy place…. and yet STILL I can go to the place of inner stress, what if’s, is IT enough, what about my next book, will I manage to sell off a piece of my business etc etc. I can drop into and go deep into the hole of stress and anxiety  a few times an hour if I am not being vigilant and mindful. 100% awake all the time.  Do you recognize that in your own life perhaps? When a knot engages in your tummy and if you are resting you feel you ‘should’ be working, if you are working you feel you ‘should’ be doing yoga or the kid’s homework.  If doing housework thinking you ‘should’ be making sales calls or buying sexy underwear to please you know who and so on and so on …yes I do that often too! AAAAARGH  it’s never-ending. Then I sometimes also manage to get to the place of beautiful quiet inner calm, energy and deep peace that can erupt into belly laughter at any minute – you know what I mean right? Oh that it lasts just a moment longer please, please, please.

POP! Another thought takes over and it’s so annoying as it’s the opposite of what I teach dammit! Does that happen to you? Mostly I get these up and downs when I feel like I am not listening to an inner yearning ….  you know that one when your lower belly wakes you up at 3 am under the pretence of “I have no idea what this anxiety is” feeling – but honestly knowing all too well what you are really yearning for? What your soul aches for, desires and spiritually “lusts” after?

My question for you today is a simple one – what are YOU yearning for in your life? Right there- yup, that answer that already fizzled up in your throat before the nanosecond you pushed it away in shame, or non-deserving or ‘isn’t the right time” kicked into gear as your analytical response. It might be a quiet inner nudge you can ignore for now or it could be a disruptive loud nag that is getting more and more insistent recently. If you were to STOP and try to listen to it, what does it BEG you to do? What path does it beckon you along? What direction does it point to next?

We know what we yearn for as it flows through our very veins, but we just cannot believe it, or dare to listen to its’ call – well not this month, or this year for heaven’s sake Kate! Perhaps your honest yearning is to shift into a new job, to get married, to gift yourself financial freedom or to visit that far off foreign country you dream about? To start a business, attend a mastermind, have a child or run a special race you have your eye on? What are you honestly yearning for right now? I dare you to answer. I am yearning for a newer, fresher, lighter version of me and what I offer, more time off alongside even deeper work. Retreats that are all about honesty and vulnerability, sharing and showing up. Masterminds that change lives. Our lives! VIP one on ones in exotic locations for conversations that matter and set us on the right path. I yearn for less “clutter”, less busy-ness, less playing small. Bigger stakes, less stress.

Is it perhaps your time to also STOP being so darn busy or to start being more deliberate each day?

Is it something, a somewhere, a someone or a combination of all?

My request to you is that you find the time to give yourself over to what really matters to you. Whether it’s gardening, pottery, knitting or swimming – then you need to find a way to carve out time as soon as possible to IMMERSE in this calling.

Tomorrow is not promised to any of us…what is inside your soul that yearns to be released this year?

Is it painting something colourful and wild to express your feelings or, to flip houses or play bitcoin, decorate a home or like me and the way my life unfolded, do you perhaps yearn to write a book? Ah, a book! What potentially simultaneous bliss and torture. The joy of penning ideas and feelings, stories and conversations into black and white, then the topsy-turvy pursuit of a publisher or the decision to go it alone….the ups and down at every turn. But then, one day, a single reader may tell you how much your book changed their life forever, and you may smile deep within at the acknowledgement.

Writing a book changed my life first and foremost and I know subsequently it has changed thousands upon thousands of reader’s lives – and THAT gives me a real deep sense of fullfilment. To know that something I wrote had life beyond the confines of my body and brain. I breathed life into a simple idea that changed my life irrevocably. So many of the writers that join us on our retreats are wanting to immerse in their love of writing or even to explore if they do love it  – perhaps to record a slice of their life, or tell a tale for the legacy of their family, to make sense of a period of time they experienced, to share some learnings, to expand their brand or to give life to some characters that talk to them in dead of night, desperate to become a novel in the making.

But it all starts with a little yearning, then a gentle nudge, then a harder tug that simply won’t let go.

I wrote my first book because I felt it was something important for me to do for my business, my legacy and my brand.  A way to put down all my passionate ideas about clearing your life of all forms of clutter, and a way to reach more people. It was also a way to validate my work by getting published by Metz Press. I didn’t know it even mattered until the moment I knew it and acknowledged the yearning; but once I acknowledged it,then it became non-negotiable. I had been writing since I was 13 after all, but only finally published my first book when I was 45 years old.

Is your book on your radar as your yearning?

Now having just turned 50, I have published three books, with a 4th almost complete and a 5th that’s been brewing deep inside for the past 2 years. But what about you –  if YOU are being called to simply write your story to make sense of something, or to share a passion, or to see if you have got what it takes to be published – then you have to discern if now is the time? And do you want help to accomplish that feat?

It is said that 87% of people want to write a book, and yet only 1% actually do. Whether those figures are 100% accurate or not, you know in your heart if you have been putting off this calling.

We have international writers coming to join us for a special book retreat on Lesvos – and we have just 3 spaces left. Does one have your name on it? Why not gift yourself 8 glorious nights to IMMERSE in your book?

If you want to follow your dream and fulfill the yearning to write YOUR book, be it memoir, non-fiction or novel, then we have three places left for the retreat on Lesvos, 24th june – 2nd July, which is PLENTY of time to get your life sorted, organise a visa if required and hop on over to paradise – I should have calmed myself down to a super slow mellow pace by then, ready to give you the very best of me, all of me, the highs and the lows, the honest and the vulnerable.  And my partner, Sarah Bullen will be right alongside you to share her insights, tools and techniques to write your very best book. We make quite a unique team-  listen to what others have to say on the link below! This village, this deep blue sea, this fresh healthy food, the quality of life and the souls of this community demand you to show up and be real, and to answer the yearning deep within. We will help you write your book this summer…

Apply for our writing retreat on Lesvos – Skala Eresos 

With a love for all things deep within you wanting to come out to play – follow the tug of your heart wherever it may take you!

Kate

#LIVELIGHTLIVELARGE

 

Inspired by the Trevi Fountain – End 2017 with more than wishful thinking

By | Uncategorized | No Comments

I recently had the divine pleasure of a long weekend in Roma to run a special retreat for 8 people. Visiting the Trevi Fountain is always a highlight for anyone happening upon Rome- throwing a coin into the aqua water (above) to make a wish. And whilst doing just that, I also realized that there isn’t really such a thing as a wish or wishful thinking. There are really only intentions and dreams that we decide to make into goals. Certain choices we make and things that fascinate us that we decide to put on the radar to bring to fruition – if that is what is meant to be. Often I find that life even has much better things in store for us than what our wildest dreams and wishes could ever imagine.

No matter what the year has thrown at me – I LOVE and REVERE this time of year as we get down to the last two weeks before we say goodbye to 2017. For many many years I have been facilitating something I call CLOSE OUT STRONG. I do it as a facilitated process over a few weeks PLUS offer it as a 5-day process done from ANYWHERE in the world. I never forget my first year as a life coach in 2003 and I decided to create this process for myself. I just knew I needed to look back before looking forward. It became part of my annual ritual. A way to make sense of the year gone by in order to help me STEP UP in the next year to come.

It is the loose ends with which (wo)men hang themselves. Zelda Fitzgerald

 

Why do we even care about CLOSING OUT STRONG?
Well your mind and heart finds it easiest to remember the start and the end of anything. So how you kicked off the year and how you say goodnight and put it to bed, are what matter most. I know you have been thrown some challenges, both acute and chronic this year. My circle of clients, friends, family, colleagues feel the same way- it’s all there written on the walls – the Ups and Downs. Downs and Ups. The question simply is- what have been YOURS been this year?

It’s not ALL good or ALL bad is it? Depending on where you are right now it can be too easy to fixate on one of the polarities.

 

I am passionate about teaching and living the art of letting go, and we need to let 2017 go! We need to harness all the amazing insights and lessons from it, say thank you where required, and pat ourselves on the back for the awesome stuff too.

 

It can be super easy to do, you just need to create a pocket of time. But you might also want some direction and pointers of what I do in my own life and with clients.

 

Where you start is not as important as where you finish! Zig Ziglar

 

If you feel that some conscious questions could help you close out the year, here are a 6 short extracts taken from the 5-day process CLOSE OUT STRONG.

1.  Describe 2017 as if it was the title of a book to capture the ESSENCE or THEME of the year. Be creative and wacky if need be.

2.  What are you most PROUD of this year?

3. Find one  HIGHLIGHT in each of the following 8 aspects of your life, to ensure you do a full sweep of your life.

Career

Finances

Home & Family

Health

Spirituality

Fun & Leisure

Self Development

Relationships & communication

4. What was your #1 CHALLENGE this year?

5. What QUALITIES / STRENGTHS did you call on to overcome this challenge?

6 . LOOSE ENDS?  Is there anything that would be awesome to complete in order to finish off the year STRONG? Could be a last minute appointment to book, finishing that business plan, sending thank you letters, helping someone in your circle, saying yes to that piece of work…

Anything that will give you the final close out you deserve?

For even more insight for yourself, you can do the full 5 day process where we

1) STEP IN – Reflect on your year gone by with purpose
2) STEP UP – Complete the dreaded incompletes lurking, draining your energy
3) HARNESS your year’s wisdom with hindsight to amke the most of it
4) Acknowledge all-important USHERS in your life – a special process!
5) Put the year elegantly to bed and LET GO.
6) STEP OUT into 2018 with clarity and enthusiasm.

Don’t drag 2017 into the new year with you!
Set yourself up for an amazing start to 2018

 

WANT MORE TO GET MORE FROM YOUR YEAR?
If you want to get the full 5-day process usually charged at R887 you can grab it less 33% by using the coupon code     CLOSEOUT     in the online shop. CLICK HERE TO READ MORE ABOUT IT. Will cost you under 500 south African buckeroos. 

 

What are YOU sincerely proud of today?

By | Coaching Tips 'n Tools, Insights to help you #quickshift, Transformational thoughts | No Comments

Do you breathe your very essence and power into your life every day?

Or do you tend to play small and tone it all down?

Why is it that we are still sometimes too shy to share the great things in our life? All that stuff we are taught when little about keeping your light under a bushel and not blowing your own trumpet…..I think that ultimately we do ourselves an injustice. So, today I am challenging you to actually stand up and be proud of who you are and what you are achieving in your life, no matter how small or big it appears externally. I have been sharing my secrets lately about radical shifts, tough times etc, so what about sharing some of the groovy stuff I am experiencing too?

Are you able to acknowledge something awesome in your life today that you are so proud of it could burst out of you if you let the world to see? It can be something small that is just for your own self-esteem – knowing that you got through today, or being proud that you are sticking to your exercise routine. Or that you actually remembered to call your friend on a day you know mattered to them. It could be an outcome at work that leaves you feeling proud and puffing out your tailfeathers – perhaps something a colleague did in passing this morning that reminded you how awesome you are?

Or maybe it’s a real biggie that you have been feeling shy to share with others – will they be jealous, not be happy for you or do you battle to take the credit? Close your eyes for a moment and let yourself feel the energy of being truly proud of yourself. Not in an overly egotistical way, but more of in an “I am prepared to acknowledge this because it makes me feel honestly great” kind of way.

 

PRACTICAL CHALLENGE RIGHT NOW!
Find something that you are willing to acknowledge and tell 5 people today.

Mmm yes 5!

My masterminders have to do that every two weeks when we meet- start off by sharing something they feel is a success! It builds self-worth and keeps the positive energy flowing especially when things feel a little rocky or tough! Yes 2017, we know what you have thrown at us!

What is something that YOU are proud of accomplishing in your life right now? See if this can stretch your comfort zone just a bit. You may feel awkward, you may feel shy, you may feel like an egotistical and arrogant person…but what if you also feel the light that shines inside you as you share that with another human. Let yourself be seen for whom you really are today……go on!

I am proud of…..!!!

I’d like to share what I am currently proud of with you:  I am so proud that I managed to stick out 3 months in the USA.
Even though it has been my dream for the past 3 years to go for an extended 3 month visit to see how much I really love it, I literally went there with NO plans, no specific work lined up in the USA, no conferences to attend or movies to appear in, Premieres to walk the red carpet at or friends birthday’s to celebrate as per every other visit thus far. Of course I always have my location free lifestyle and all my wonderful regular online courses, writers and masterminders. But that was it. Three months stretched out ahead of me – in dollars!

I went essentially to SHOW UP for my third book SHIFT YOUR HOME as I have always had a dream about collaborating in the USA. In the first two weeks I pretty much cried every day, slept ten hours, wondered what the HELL I was doing and just felt so so very alone, small and helpless. Little and pathetic! YEP! So I resorted to my own advice that I dish out and made myself do just ONE thing every day towards finding magic for my third book, and slowly it started unfurling when I got out of my own way! I started doing my yoga at a local studio in San Rafael, hung out at Starbucks to work and guzzle coffee, writing gratitudes and keeping my eye on the bigger dream.  After all, I didn’t want to waste a three-month trip.

SO after wallowing a bit in self created dross, I picked myself up with help from my support teams (my mastermind group, friends, partner and a massive release exercise!) and literally started being as cheeky as all hell and asking people for help to meet people that would be connected to the realty / real estate industry to collaborate with my new book. VOILA- I managed to collide with someone very special and soon we will be releasing the new updated version and online course!

 

SO BACK TO YOU!!
WHAT ARE YOU SINCERELY PROUD OF?
My challenge to you is that you chat to 5 (FIVE) people about what is happening in your life that you are proud of today. Yes, I mean 5!

 

And if you really want to UP THE ANTE and put an awesome full stop at the end of the year, keep reading…

WOULD YOU LIKE TO HARNESS 2017 AND CLOSE OUT STRONG?

Every year at this time, I facilitate CLOSE OUT STRONG. Done as a stunningly supported group process you get to harness the GROSS AND GROOVY, the GLEES AND THE GLITCHES from 2017 to set yourself up for a LIGHTER start to 2018.

This process ensures you take stock and take charge.
Streamline and focus on what matters so that you don’t limp over the finish line but rather END PROUD AND TALL!

For more information READ HERE
Officially starts Friday 24th November, but you can join later if you choose.

Life-hacks from a #locationfree maverick on a #minimalistmanifesto

By | Uncategorized | No Comments
That dreaded time in your life lurks ominously over your head, threatening to unleash droplets of blood and boredom if you don’t make THAT imminent change. This post is to remind you to listen to the words burning in your soul, and take that leap. Whatever YOUR leap is. We often call it a leap of faith, and sometimes it’s more akin to a leap of stupidity and recklessness and yet we somehow then learn the faith along the way!

But #LEAP we must and #SHIFT we will.

20 months ago, the gorgeous space and “community” I called home was about to “disband” and the moment I heard that news, as devastating as the reason was for the others, a flicker of excited energy bubbled up. An answer to a question I had been mulling plopped into my space instantaneously. Within 5 minutes I had it all planned out. I instantly knew that I did not want to create another home in that same city. I needed something a little drastic and scary to step into and help me LEAN into my work and my life a whole lot more. I had been talking about a concept for many years and dreaming about it more strongly for the previous 18 months.

Being #locationfree, a digital nomad on a decadent odyssey.

I share some intimate stories of my vision boards and goals I had created over the years to utilize the clever little RA system in the brain (see DITCH YOUR GLITCH) that had ensured I manifested travelling for more than 6 months of the year for work abroad, but THIS notion of #locationfree was a step deeper. A huge step deeper.

 

A traveling/ working /global nomad lifestyle.

 

You see my message and motto I share is #LIVELIGHTLIVELARGE – about letting go of all the STUFF that holds us back to unleash ourselves into a life of magnificence. It was time to up the ante in my own life. My vision is one day to have 3 homes that are part of a bigger, bolder lifestyle, perhaps even co-owned and shared with others and making money when I’m not there. But before I get to that point, that also means exploring where I might want those homes to be. And that is hard to do when one keeps gravitating BACK to your current home. I kept returning to JHB even when I didn’t love it because my home-base was there, my STUFF was there, my car and books, my tree house and art, my life and friends, my partner and my gorgeous cat, Stripey was there. Lucky for me, one of them gets to come WITH me a lot of the time as we carve out a lifestyle together.

About 15 years ago, staying with my friend in London, I read an extract from a beautiful poet/author’s work, “Crossing the Unknown Sea”, by David Whyte. Here is a snippet of that longer extract.

“Tell me about exhaustion,” I said.

He looked at me with an acute, searching, compassionate ferocity for the briefest of moments, as if trying to sum up the entirety of the situation without missing a beat, as if he had been waiting all along, to say a life-changing thing to me. He said, in the form of both a question and an assertion;

“You know the antidote for exhaustion is not necessarily rest?”

“The antidote for exhaustion is not necessarily rest”, I repeated to myself woodenly, as if I might exhaust myself completely before I reached the end of the sentence.

“What is it then?”

“The antidote to exhaustion is wholeheartedness

He looked at me for a wholehearted moment, as if I should fill in the blanks. But I was a blank to be filled at that moment, and though I knew something pivotal had been said, I had not the wherewithal to say anything in reply. So he carried on;

“You are so tired through and through because a good half of what you do here in the organization has nothing to do with your true powers, or the place you have reached in your life. You are only half here, and half here will kill you after a while. You need something to which you can give your full powers. You know what that is; I don’t have to tell you.”

He didn’t have to tell me Brother David knew I wanted my work to be my poetry.

 

I too wanted more and more WHOLEHEARTEDNESS in my life. I needed to up the ante another notch. Have you ever felt so tired that you wish you could sleep for a year, hell even a decade and then wake up with the energy of a freshly fed 4-year-old? When not only your bones ache but your soul aches? Yes, I thought you would recognize what I’m saying. I have been there several times throughout my life. But in 2015, something different was creeping upon me – a feeling of, dare I admit it, BOREDOM. I was being called to a new way of life, a new way of living and a new way of being.

Time to leap into WHOLEHEARTEDNESS.

So, I embarked on my #locationfree adventure, free from excess, free from one fixed abode, free from a cupboard of crockery or a few extra pair of heels, free from books and now it is 18 months down the line. The hardest question to answer currently from other people I meet is…so where is your home Kate?

Call me up and ask me, and see what I say in response.

 

Today, 27th October, whilst ambling over the hill from my gorgeous waterfront house I’m looking after to the small village of Pointe Richmond on the east bay of San Francisco – with laptop underarm and a cute writers café I had previously visited as my destination, I wondered what I could, would or should write about today.

As you may know from past blogs, I am less inclined at this phase in my life and business to write blog posts and newsletters because the social media schedule demands it – I cannot be a$$ed to do that to be honest, as then it just feels too forced. Yet I actually feel as if I write to YOU all the time. I am constantly processing beautiful places, people, ideas and connections. I am constantly writing in my head, saying – ooh that’s a great blog idea but sometimes that’s simply where it stays, in my head. Can I push out books, blogs, and articles for consumption? Hell yeah and I have done 1000’s over the past 14 years since embarking on life as a coach, so now I simply write when I feel called to tell you something. And today I am called!

 

Skipping down the hill, I thought mmmm, maybe I can just write down and share my maverick life hacks for showing up on this #locationfree adventure. So here you go…#locationfree #minimalist manifesto

 

  1. SHOW UP
    You can think, dream and talk about a concept all you want till those cows come home, but mostly life demands that we show up full tilt before we can really access it! You have to leave your home, literally leave your comfort zone, leave your safety net to witness the real magic unfold. If you are currently being called to a place, whether to visit, live, work or do community work, sort out your life in whatever way you need to, and just GO SHOW UP. When you take one step, life will throw ten you more in your favour to support your journey. But you have to be willing to make the first move, no matter how flipping scary and how much everyone else will test your crazy notions.You want to do WHAT? Have you thought about ….and off they go rampaging about why you should NOT do what your heart demands that you do.

 

  1. WHAT’S YOUR SIGN?
    Know how life gives you signs, support and encouragement along the path so that you can tune in better – mine is LEMONS! Yes really. Not white feathers, black cats, clouds in a certain shape, but good ol’ fashioned fresh lemons. One morning in Lesvos, Greece this year, awaiting the arrival of my mum on a charter flight from the UK later that day, I went for a very early stroll around the bustling port of Mytilene, before the rest of the world woke up. I usually start off my day with the juice of a fresh lemon in room temperature water.I had been traveling for 2 days from South Africa and suddenly craved, really craved my morning lemon ritual. It keeps me regular, alkalizes my body, boosts my immune system especially with all the traveling, and gives my stomach a rest before I guzzle coffee. But NO shops were open for another 3 hours – it’s Greece, continental laid back time! But I was CRAVING my lemon. Next thing, within about three minutes I was walking around a sharp corner of the cobbled street, marching up the hill towards the fort on the hill for a gorgeous lookout view, when I almost stepped on it.There at my feet lay one perfect lemon instantly manifested. I burst out laughing. Like a magic trick – POOF. But there was no one around, no kids playing trick or treat, and not even a lemon tree above me to have generously dropped it on my path. Just a beautiful, bold, ripe juicy lemon at my feet. Of course, I picked it up, caressing its oily skin, smelling it and grinning for an hour till I found a coffee shop open. I do regret never having taken a photo of it in situ to show you, but here is the next best thing.

    My magical lemon

    I asked the owner of the coffee shop for water and a cup, and some utensil and proceeded to get stuck in while she made my coffee. She kept glancing over at me smiling – whilst I tried to explain, Kalimera, I found this…
    I felt like every part of the universe was conspiring WITH ME that morning. I have many lemon tales on my journey around the world to show me I am on the right path. Perhaps there is a book in this idea!

  1. HELP PEOPLE TO HELP YOU
    I am always looking for ways to help people out in life, it is such a delight for me to do – so I have adopted and embedded the idea that people love helping me out too! It’s about letting the energy keep flowing in and out. So I have learned the art of being bolder and cheekier in asking people for specific help and telling them what I am doing and why so they know my vision for life and work. I figured I have nothing to lose and it might even inspire someone, plus what you don’t ask for, you don’t get. When I got to the USA, I reconnected with everyone this side of the pond to say hello and check in, and then would share what I was up to– whether to share that I was available to house-sit, wanting to connect with people in the realtor world, or just see who they felt they needed to introduce me to. I make it my job to be interesting company, thoughtful and always leave a space better than I find it, to leave a bit of my energy in my wake. I call it spreading the light. To make people feel good, smile and bring some joy.One such meeting was with a friend and colleague Anthony -we met on my very first visit to the USA about 4 years ago when I came to study with Brendon Burchard. I saw him again back in March just as he was about to attend a friend’s wedding, and we grabbed a food truck lunch in the heart of San Fran. Staying in contact with people you like and respect is so vital. Keep those connections flowing! Don’t just show up when you need something, that’s tacky! He said back then if ever you need anything, just ask.So I did.I drove 90 minutes to go and see him close to his work, took copies of my new book and asked for help! This guy is such a rock star that he is now ON Brendon’s stage sharing his story and collaborating with Brendon. FYI – that is HUGE. I feel so blessed to know him. A former pro-NFL player, now changing the world with his story and lifestyle products. I literally asked him if, as a guest speaker, there was any way he could get me access to attend the course as his guest. #cheeky! I know what an awesome environment Brendon Burchard events are for both learning and connecting – the first time I attended one was the precursor to me being invited as an expert in the award-winning movie, The Secrets of the Keys in the USA. So Anthony managed to get me on the list. I then panicked, as my cash flow was getting low, really low, yet lo and behold some work landed in my lap that week with the YPO. I started asking around for a lift from San Fran to San Diego and a roommate at the hotel, and ta da ta da ta da…I landed up meeting the only person I was meant to meet and collaborate with on my big idea for my book. Watch this space! I now have a global partner and we are adding another whole component to the book!Show up and help people help you! Remember my mantra if you have ever heard me talk at an event. Step by step…

The gorgeous Mr Hustle, Anthony and Miss Niki – my new global partner

 

Dress up for dinner

 

  1. BE HARDCORE WITH PARING DOWN YOUR BELONGINGS!
    I don’t know what that means for YOU, but how do you be hardcore compared to how you are currently living? For me, that meant totally letting go of my gorgeous tree house in the heart of a big city and all my belongings except for 3 boxes and a piece of art. Stuff that I figured I would ship to another country one day. The hardest part? My big Tiger Stripey going to live with my dear Megan, and all the books. Yes, all the books signed by the authors I know.I literally travel with everything else that I own, except, wait, I fib; I leave my salsa dancing shoes under my boyfriend’s bed! For the rest, when it’s time to move, I open up the cupboard and pack everything into my case and head to the airport, ferry, or car. And I hate to confess that STILL, that darn rule of 80/20 applies. I have one suitcase of clothes, and yet I probably don’t touch close to 60 percent of it most of the time. I have party clothes, smart corporate clothes, sexy dresses, comfy travel stuff and casual wear. And 7 pairs of shoes! All in ONE international 23kg suitcase! Don’t believe me? Well then pick me up at the airport if you can beat Naldo to the arrivals! What would hard-core look like for you?

 

  1. THE LOW DOWN – IT GETS REALLY LOW!
    I have to be honest and say #locationfree is ALSO tough! So is your life in some areas. Deal with it gracefully!

    Tis true- we WORKED on a cruise ship to Mexico!

    I’m still a working girl. I need to work, I have to work, I yearn to work, and I want to work. I also still honestly need an income; like most of us do and even if I had a million bucks buffer in the bank I know I would still be doing 80% of what I’m doing. It’s in my bones. All that my current chosen lifestyle of #locationfree means is that I no longer work from one city or country or have an address to call my own home. I don’t call any country home right now. But as much as glamorous destinations and a gorgeous photo roll is – filled with deep blue Aegean sea and daily rock swims with dedicated writers, exploring the ruins of Athens and Delphi, lavish housesits with stupendous views of San Francisco, living with a Siberian cat in the very heart of London, spending 4 months with my mum, delightful rendezvous, connections and conversation in JHB with my partner Naldo, being captivated by European summers, cruising to Mexico and everywhere else in between looks and is delightful – it definitely, most definitely has a flip side. Every single choice we make has the pro and the con side. It is no different. My view is just different.

    It gets tough. I get lonely – even though I strike up conversations with total strangers, I spend a LOT of time completely on my own. I miss my lover. Breathe! I long for my close friends. I yearn for my cat Stripey and feel him next to me often in the deep of the night. I am regularly deeply exhausted from traveling and from always needing to “land” in a new space, city or country. I don’t have my regular dentist, hairdresser, nail salon or yoga studio on hand. Or the supermarket where I don’t have even think where the milk is when I walk in. Autopilot doesn’t exist out here. So I usually look like a woolly mammoth 4 weeks after I leave SA (I have been known to walk into a male barbershop to get the back of my hair done with clippers whilst I long for my salon of choice – this gal has to TRY and stay video friendly ya know).
    I do my own nails  – thanks to my Nan as I learned to be a superb nail painter doing her feet growing up.
    I have a very cool and sexy yoga app on my phone: DOWN DOG
    Meditation reminder to keep me sane: HEADSPACE
    Lots of audiobooks – better earphones are on my wishlist! Oh, Dubai is my next work stop so that might be a little shopping spree. If you have favourite brands, please let me know!
    Plus a sassy and HOT  Latin American mix made by yours truly, Naldo. If ever you see a crazy white woman with wild silver hair doing a little salsa step and hip gyration whilst walking down the street, it might just be me!
    I also travel with my biokineticist sitting on my shoulder nudging me on– with my ball and band and make sure I do core exercises.

    There is generally a huge lack of routine, lack of familiarity, lack of community, lack of support, different beds (definitely not good for my dodgy spine), even a couch every now and then, deep loneliness, airports, LOTS of airports and air-conditioning and time wasted traveling. I have learned to turn the travel time into an art. I am not swanning around the world in business class, so trust me when I say it’s exhausting traveling across the globe.

    I have learned that I need way more sleep than I used to. Ha- maybe that one is just aging and nothing to do with travel?

    I know you would think it’s all exciting being in different locations, but you have to recalibrate everything in every new place! Sometimes my credit cards and cash cards don’t work no matter how many steps I take to improve that from the South African side, or my phone doesn’t work. The other day I had $50 of groceries at the checkout, and three cards didn’t work. Embarrassing. Walk across the street and draw cash out with the very same cards and go back to pick up groceries. Go figure! Oh my gosh – my cash flow gets dangerously low when living in a Northern Hemisphere more than the southern.

    Traveling all over the world also means I miss out on much work because people cannot “see” me. I’m not at all the events in one city, or can pop out to see a client.

    Most things are working, and some things could 100% be improved! That is called life. And I wouldn’t change a thing! Well…. except seeing my loved ones more!

 

  1. FLIRT DEEPLY WITH PEOPLE AND LIFE! ALWAYS!
    This one is super simple, but maybe not that easy.  Get turned on by life, people, the planet and the possibility of magic all around you. Be memorable! Flash your pearly smile, make eye contact and be intimate with people and fall in love with life every day. By this I mean, be kind, be open, be interested AND interesting. Find that magnetic part of you, that is truly you and share that with people. Our world needs to be flirted with. Do you do that?Most importantly, when someone says “Hey, you should meet so and so”, just say YES and do it. I have had THE most magical fun, and fortuitous meetups through the most bizarre, wonderful circumstances. From a generous woman Illana I literally met the day before I left SA when having my eyebrows done (oh gosh, add that to my list above), who then introduced me to her friend Mel here in SF, where I landed up staying for two nights in her spare room and doing my first ever USA local movie (yes yes already did MY movie premiere in Las Vegas but this was in a  regular theatre); to looking for the BLUE ANGELS  on fleet week together, and being introduced to others in her network all from that one little mail saying- oh you must meet so and so.Then one of my writers penning their book in Amsterdam (originally from the Bay area)  introduced me to her cool writer friends here in SF – we became friends over the past few months and was generously offered her home (aka palace) that I’m looking after right now – well actually let me be honest and say the house is really looking after me! Then by simply being here (read #1 SHOW UP above) next week I move into the neighbours home to stare at this stupendously glorious view a little longer and look after a gorgeous kitty called Eames.

 

  1. HONOUR THE DAY AND GET OUTSIDE
    I fell into a deep emotional hole (it’s been a bit of a theme this year) the first couple of weeks when I arrived in the USA. I was really battling in a housesit- way too much clutter, junk, and dirt everywhere for me, so it felt like I should have been working in the house as an organizing job to sort it out, yet it wasn’t my place. nor was I being paid to do that. I felt like I was being swallowed up every which way I turned. I wondered what the HELL I had done by just getting on a plane and showing up to just BE in the USA for three months with no plans and no work. Thank goodness for animals, yoga at a local studio, accessing the community and a friend who reminded me to look for beauty and signs wherever I was. I went for a walk and found all the things she told me to look for! I had been holed up with my computer with clients in SA and already stressing about USA cash flow, so was feeling totally constricted in every sense of the word. My Mum reminded me to get out of the house every day– and I remembered, DUH, to go and work in coffee shops. And the very first time I lodged myself onto the Starbucks seat, I got chatting to someone and my day was brightened. I make it a point to get out, meet people and drink good coffee, or the evil thing below. How can you get out and connect today?

My new decadence – coffee mocha salted caramel freezochino. Limited to ONE per two weeks

 

  1. TRUST TRUST TRUST
    Short but sweet – No matter how hard life gets, there is no more to say other than TRUST TRUST TRUST. And then, trust some more. And when you can’t, talk to someone who does, until you can trust again. I’m off to look at this sublime view at the bottom, so until next time, see what you can do to try out one of these life hacks!

ARE YOU GOING TO CLOSE OUT STRONG IN 2017?

I am about to embark on the last process I run for the year and it’s my favorite signature mastermind titled CLOSE OUT STRONG.
If you want to end YOUR year on a high and close out with energy, mindfulness and learn to harness the
highs and the lows, then GRAB A PLACE HERE. 

 

 

 

The profundity of asking a question that resonated!

By | Insights to help you #quickshift, Transformational thoughts | No Comments

The profundity of asking a question that resonated with you!
I posted this question on Facebook for both myself and my clients. Having just come through and out of my own inner “Irma” – the hurricane devastating the Carribean and Florida – and witnessing clients all over the world being squished, squashed, and squelched, bobbing up for some beautiful, deep breaths and breathtaking views before being swept under again – I posed this question to my tribe.

“Anyone else out there being a bit sideswiped by life at the moment? Whether your energy levels, financial, feeling disconnected, battling to get clarity on a way forward etc etc etc? And if so how are YOU best riding that uncomfortable wave? Would really love some input from you …”
UPDATE a couple hours later: so I asked this inquiry both for myself and also for many of my clients who are just in a somewhat very transitional space right now – shuffling, stuck, overwhelmed, unsure, then surges of energy and inspiration, followed by doubt, lack of confidence etc etc. Loving ALL your answers here – love my FB family around the globe!!

 

Here is the list that exploded on my timeline – deep sources of inspiration and ideas. Perhaps ONE is for you today.

Piet Filmalter Blendid.co.za …try it out – healthy as ever, taste great, and very easy for lazy/in-a-hurry type of person. And those days where you need to operate on a higher level, Provigil – if you can afford it or get a prescription for it.
Shelley Walters Sleep. Zzz
Sandy Bisschoff Trying to live in the moment and go with the flow, taking each day as it comes. I know that it’s temporary and I’ll have energy and direction again soon. Also reading Eckhart Tolle’s Power of Now (for the first time!) which is helping
Marilu Meiring For me it was realizing that by doing things in my own strength, is what quickly exhausts me. I’ve always believed in God but it was a relationship I neglected. Recently I decided to start to invest and prioritized my relationship (and understanding) of God again, I stepped into a world of peace that no matter what, gives me the power to let go and trust that all things work together for good.
Kate Emmerson yes I too need to be connected to spirit – if I am unplugged that’s when all my “drama” starts. Weirdly enough JUICING gets me reconnected, followed by Yoga. It’s like a fast track queue to spirit for me
Marilu Meiring That’s fabulous  What helps me is to know that I’m truly loved by Spirit and that only good things are intended for my life. So even in waiting (or with nothing happening), it is intended for my good and that is a comforting believe to hold on to.
Fran Stephanie Fainman I did the art of living foundation happiness program, where I learned a fabulous Kriya technique and pranayama breath work, which shifts energy very quickly. Sending hugs
Justine Visser Stay in the moment, meditate and remember, it will pass♡ and I promise it does, just another shift in your ascension process
Terry Stallard Just had a “crash n burn” with health..and income…
1)Got off conveyer belt of busy-ness and false stimulants (sugar and caffeine)
2) Taking time to rest and “be still” …definitely re-connect with God
3) Changing lifestyle…healthy diet….
4) Simplifying lifestyle….living within means..keeping out of debt
5) Exploring new ways of doing business..learn, read, learn…and possibly start writing….
Fran Stephanie Fainman I did the art of living foundation happiness program, where I learned a fabulous Kriya technique and pranayama breath work, which shifts energy very quickly. Sending hugs
Justine Visser Maybe this will help;
A sense of being held back. Many of us are feeling the sensation of something holding us back, from doing what we know we should be doing. Or coming up just short no matter how hard we try. Or procrastinating even though we may have a bit more clarity on what we feel we should be doing. We have had some very creative moments, but at large we still have that feeling that we can’t really get going. We don’t seem to be able to build any momentum to actually get started on our new projects and ideas for our soul mission.
That may be because on a physical level we still need to sleep a lot to process all the changes and integrate the light. While from a soul level, something seems to hold us back and prevent us from moving forward with it. We don’t know why but we have the feeling that we are still waiting for something before we go ahead. And we are. We are being asked to work through our core wounds first and to connect with the people around us who we are meant to connect with from all over the planet. We are building ourselves a strong foundation to support us and then propel us forward when the right time comes.
The Universal energies are aligning now for the big shifts to come. All this delaying has the purpose to fully bring us into perfect inner balance. The balance between aloneness and community, between the masculine and the feminine energies within, between being and doing, between giving and receiving. We must trust that we will get the energetic push to move forward, as soon as we are ready. This is the ultimate letting go of control and letting Source work through us and guide us.
Some upcoming dates to take note of:
September 6: Full Moon,
September 21 -25, including:
September 22 – Equinox and September 23 – Cosmic Trigger, Timeline Shift
December 21 – 25, including:
December 21- Solstice and December 23 – Cosmic Trigger, Timeline Shift
Welcome to a new way of living
Come join us: https://www.facebook.com/groups/anewwayofliving/
John Addey Come for tea
Cheryl Reum So many external influences of chaos it has to have an effect. We are one with our Universe. The Slight Edge Jeff Olsen, a delightful reminder of the control of small matters sees huge results. Sleep, 8 hours is my quota. Walk minimum 5000 steps a day. Eat a little something Nice! Chuck the to do lists and complete what can be done in flow. Read” One Thing” and practice it. Gary Keller. And Smile
Craig K. Whitehead I’m with Marilu Meiring here. Throughout the recent storms of life my faith has anchored me in confidence knowing that I am not alone or going through this without guidance. I literally see Him move in my life now that I am giving it more attention and learning to take each day as it comes…resting in the knowledge that God has got this. The creator of Heaven and Earth has me under his wings and firmly in place for his will and destiny for my life. X love ya Kate
Timea Kulcsar The Flow Experience is absolutely my life saver. The community, the tools, the support, the collective energy is what lifts me up. check out my free 7 days of flow email series. There are some amazing tools in there. Lots of people have said it’s created amazing shifts and peace within them. Www.flow-experience.com/7-days-of-flow
Frances Amanda Briggs Side swipes are instant feedback signals to rest, stop, sit, listen before taking action. I tend to approach adversity with curiosity to learn and evolve. I turn to self-care for comfort and clarity. I enjoy massages, journaling, EFT, mindfulness, eating plant and raw with loads of sleep. I hibernate and usually emerge solid and centered afterwards…
Kirsten Kennedy Gratitude for every day. Release the need to drive goals and control. Trust you will get there anyhow, this is an interesting detour worth exploring. Feel the flow, smile…. aaaaand go!
Wendy Ward Kate, thank you putting this inquiry out. It is so easy to become disassociated and disconnected. These are deeply unsettling times. It is hard to BE WITH such despondency, despair and confusion, to sit with the collective grief, to witness division and hatred, to live so close to the edge of insanity. It is easier to numb the pain, distract oneself, remain in denial, etc etc.

For me, and your question has caused me to reflect, these things are helping:
* Being weirdly comfortable not having a frigging clue most of the time what is going on. Taking the next small step into the unknown. Trusting my intuition.
* Coming back to my body, to sensation, again and again. This is helping me get out of my head. It’s like constantly noticing when my attention is focused outward and bringing it back inwards. Being aware of the breath as much as possible throughout the day. What do the sages keep reminding us: we are who we are looking for. Coming home to myself.
* Running the BARS – amazing – helps defrag the brain! For me, it has reduced my distractability in remarkable ways.
* Grounding. Lots of this. Walking bare feet. Being in nature. Literally resting, lying down, being held by the earth. Tree Meditation so wonderful.
* Stillness and silence. Sensing this stillness and silence every time I turn my gaze inwards.
* Being open to or allowing emotion to move through me – actually feeling stuff!
* Not taking things personally (harder said than done).
* Lots of chakra work. Keeping my heart open. Prayer and meditation. Choosing to believe, at the deepest level, that I am fully supported by the Universe. Mind is Resilient.
* Avoiding alcohol and nicotine. Letting go of these old friends almost entirely – body simply can’t handle. Big shifts as a result.
* Trying to take 100% responsibility for what I am thinking and what I am creating. This is the bit I CAN do when all else in world threatens to overwhelm.
* Sweat Lodge – monthly sweat – awesome community.
* Mates like you! Holding space for each other.

Sharon Jansen August, a month where my physicality was compromised. Wake up call ‘re pace. Made a declaration out loud and to others – very liberating in the clarity it brings to do this. Repositioning for the rest of the year, opening up space, creating ease and putting self first.
Wendy Nagel Sending love to you Kate! It feels like there is a lot of shedding going on…be it old patterns to allow for new…or just being caught up in all the external noise…meditate, meditate, meditate…find the stillness inside!  It feels rough, but so worth it…the key is in the letting go
Natalie Uren Today … really feeling the effects of long-term caring for my parents. About to go to yoga
Candice Wasserfall-Somerville Life is hard right now with so many sick friend and family but we have been taking the time to enjoy the small things in life. We sit in the mornings together and enjoy the birds singing while we drink our coffee. We are making memories with concerts ( Jonny Clegg ) and holidays. We are also starting a family Happiness journal to remind us of the good things that have happened during the day/ week. A photo album is also good to capture the good times of the year. It’s great to get rid of stuff, be free and have more time as there is less to clean! Surf that wave 
Lynne Loggie Kate, I so appreciate the public question and the tremendously insightful & helpful responses. Challenged as never before, I’m holding on tightly to authentic awareness, trusting that time and flow will do what it does so well, for those who observe its brilliance. Thank you and continued blessings!
Fiona Aucamp Finding the new phase of our lives daunting. Feel like I am taking more steps back than forward. Feeling disoriented and unstable. Doubts flooding through my mind…..
Adele Green I was processing yesterday, but whatever was there is shed. Feeling fantastic.
Peter du Toit These concepts had the most profound impact on me when I first heard them and may be useful to others too in the context of your question. Enjoy
Jocelyn Broderick Feeling a bit battered physically, energetically, emotionally. So much change. Big decisions. Big shifts. Transition 
Trudie Bartholomew – Translife It is full moon … and recently the end of the Mercury Retrograde
Rivashnee Singh Hey Kate, so there….being swept away. Continuance from our personal messages of late….. Changing life stage whilst going through the whirlwind of personal, emotional, business and life transformation at the same time is all consuming. I have to say your blogs and constant snippets in various forms always refreshing.
Kate Emmerson shew this thread has certainly hit a spot with so many of you. Thanks for your responses have warmed my heart! Spread the post into your worlds so other people you think might need it too can access it from your timeline?
Ursula Barnard Jacobs Sometimes people cannot let the sun shine upon others…some might say it is jealousy…manipulation….spiritual warfare. Regardless, let your light shine. You are probably on the verge of a breakthrough
NEED SUPPORT TO SHIFT YOUR LIFE?
Do you need some support from me and if so what might you need? Just drop me a line – perhaps it’s time to join my Cappuccino Challenge to learn how to fall in love with yourself again? Just R397 for 30 days! CLICK HERE  
Or perhaps you are ready to really put yourself and your life on the line and UP THE ANTE by joining my next Mastermind group.  Exponential shifts with just 6 people in a group. By application only.  Mail me now as next group start in a few weeks!